The Stanley Cup Goes to Some Weird Places

For some reason, I am on the media mailing list for KC ICE's Northland rink at Burlington Creek.  Yay!(?)

Anyway, the Stanley Cup – or one of the twenty replicas – is coming to the rink this Saturday, January 5th if you would like to see it.  Actually, it's coming to EnChamas restaurant, but, eh...close enough.  So, go see it if you want to see it.  It's worth the price of admission to see Anze Kopitar's name on there, let me tell you buddy.  BONUS: For a small fee, you can get your picture with the Cup AND 1980 USA Gold Medalist and local guy Ken Morrow.  Yay!(?)  Here's the promo flyer.

So, yeah, there's that.  It made me wonder what other random people charged you to take pictures with the Cup at random locations.

Seattle Still Not Getting An NHL Team, Media Hangs On To Every Word Willy Wonka Says

lol labor disputes
Via ABC News, AP Photo/ The Seattle Times,  John Lok

Insert something thoughtful about the Oilers-to-Seattle mess currently in the news here. 

It's all already been said.  It was said way before it was even officially said.  Oilers to Seattle: not going to happen.  Any team, at this present moment, and over the course of the next two years, to Seattle: not going to happen.  Very few people in the media understand this, apparently, or just need something to write about.  PucKChaser gets it.  I'm sure a good chunk of you Kansas Citians out there get it.

Why is this so hard to understand?

The 2012-13 Heels of Hockey: The Desert Dawgz

RKO! RKO! RKO!

The Corporation, the nWo, Evolution, the Phoenix Coyotes...all great wrestling heel factions.  What's that, "The Coyotes", you ask?  Oh yes, and let me tell you, they really hate "you people" and flee close matches with their collective tails between their legs (pun intended).


Remember last season when everyone rooted for the Boston Bruins to beat the Vancouver Canucks in the Stanley Cup Finals (we did this, people, and we have to live with our decisions)?  Just to see that "flopper" Ryan Kesler, that "douche" Alex Burrows, those "creepy twins" the Sedins, and "weird gaze dude" Roberto Luongo get their comeuppance.  (Plus, head coach Alain Vingneault speaks something called "French."  That can't be good.)  Then, through this season, the 'Nucks were arguably the heels of hockey...until they lost in the Finals and in the first round this year.  No longer perceived as a threat, we now have a new enemy, someone else to form a feud against the John Cenas and Rey Mysterios of the world.  The Phoenix Coyotes.  Learn why after the jump.

Former KC Blade in NHL's Western Conference Final

This is a nice litte article (I'm assuming online only) by the KC Star's Alan Burchardt previewing the NHL Conference Finals matchups and giving local connections of each team.  Under the Phoenix Coyotes, Burchardt writes:

Former Kansas City Blade Ray Whitney racked up 77 points in his second season in the Valley of the Sun. The Coyotes are his seventh NHL team.

I had to look back, and, yep, holy crap, he did play for the Blades during the 1992-93 season.  He played 46 games with 20 goals and 33 assists, so yeah, he wasn't with the Blades too long.  Whitney won the Stanley Cup as a member of the Carolina Hurricanes in 2005-06.

Also, this just in:  Ray Whitney is old.

After the jump, you will find a photo retrospective of Ray Whitney as a member of the Kansas City Blades.  It's pretty touching.  Break out the tissues!

My Contribution to the "Doughty Laughing" Meme

LA Kings defenseman Drew Doughty was caught laughing at the chaos going on behind him during a scuffle in Game 2 of the Vancouver Canucks-Kings series.  This is important (as some people have pointed out) because it shows a more relaxed attitude than what the Kings had in their previous two playoff appearances.  But you don't need to know that.

What you need to know:

• Here is the original photo (also the header pic)
• Here is the video of the original photo
• Here is a gallery using the Doughty laughing image in situations where it otherwise would not be seen.

That's pretty much it.  After the jump, I have offered a few.

Great Moments In Illegal Ryane Clowe Poke Checking History

Via

As you might have seen or heard from last night's San Jose Sharks-Los Angeles Kings game, late in the game the Sharks forward Ryane Clowe reached over the boards to break up a Kings rush into the offensive zone.  This is illegal, but the problem is, none of the officials on the ice saw it happen.  The Sharks would go on to win in a shootout, and the winner of their game on Saturday now could determine who is the Pacific Division champion and gets the third seed in the Western Conference.

Video of the play below:

After doing a little research, I found out this isn't the first time Ryane Clowe has been involved in illegally using his stick.  Take a walk down memory lane, and see what else Clowe has done without the officials, or anyone, taking notice.

Quebec Fallout: What the Hell is Going On Out Here?

NHL Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly and the Travel Channel's Andrew Zimmern. Separated at birth?

I was harsh on ruling Gary Bettman a "failure" when it comes to the possible move of the Phoenix Coyotes (or some mystery franchise -- I'm looking at you Dallas) to Quebec City.  Two franchises relocating to cities that have lost teams earlier in your tenure does not necessarily make you a failure.  Nor does one lockout (now two, that may be a problem).  I'll admit, that's a harse assessment.  Bettman has transformed the NHL into a multi-billion dollar industry by spreading the sport to other markets and through TV rights deals.  Plus, he confesses to his mistakes.  I guess that's a good thing, even from a fan's standpoint.  But, I come from an American perspective.  Canadians do not want him to take hockey away from its homeland and place it in the desert or the beach.  Which makes sense, more or less, because although I would like to see more Canadian MLB teams it's hard to imagine the outrage if, say, the Rays moved up north. (By the way, just for fun, I searched "What are good things Gary Bettman has done for hockey?" into Google.  Not a lot of positive reviews came up.  Just FYI.)

Perhaps, though, much of the fuel of my anger comes from this assumption that the Coyotes are already on their way to Quebec.  An assumption, of course.

From the CBC:

NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly was asked on Sunday whether the possibility of the struggling Phoenix Coyotes being relocated to Quebec City was strengthened by the announcement on Sunday. 

"No, there's nothing new here," Daly wrote in an e-mail.

The same Bill Daly that denied any deal was done less than a month ago.  Damn, Daly sounds like one tough hombre.  Do not cross that man.

His response makes sense, though.  The NHL is not going to tip its hand, nor outright say "Oh heck, yeah, that changes everything!"  No, they are playing the game just like everyone else in this situation.  Quebecor, that crazy Saskatoon guy, any and all of the Coyotes possible owners.  Everybody.  What we know is that the NHL is doing everything they can (or have done everything they could for the past three years) to keep the Coyotes at Jobing.com Arena.  Meanwhile, Quebec City and Seattle are building arenas and assembling owner-type people in hopes of getting a wayward franchise.  In reality, Mayflower moving trucks are not converging on Glendale, Arizona as you read this.  Possibly...

And that's where it gets confusing.

Earlier this week we heard about the NHL's "Plan B", their probable contingency plan for the Coyotes if all ownership candidates fall through.  In that contingency plan, the NHL will likely relocate the team to one of three cities: Seattle, Quebec City, or Kansas City.

From PucKChaser:

Kansas City was mentioned as a “in the mix”, but no one has ever explained why. 

That is the money statement, right there.  Quebec makes sense because of what we have seen from Quebecor and the new arena, etc.  Seattle makes sense because of their possible arena deal, and a possible owner attached to said arena.  Kansas City makes sense because of... is it still because of the Sprint Center?  Or AEG?  Barbecue...?  Something does not add up.

Easy answer:  The NHL is full of crap.
Fun answer: We are not being told everything, and the rabbit hole goes much much deeper than we know.  Kansas City, Seattle, and Quebec City.  Those three cities, not any others.  Apparently, they have more significance than Las Vegas or Saskatoon in this case.  We just do not know exactly why.  Obviously, though, the NHL must be on speaking terms with these cities.  Therefore, Bill Daly's comments do not hold much truth.  Then again, they do.  The NHL could care less about new arenas.  Also, not only has the NHL not sold the Coyotes, they have a Plan B.  But, a new Quebec or Seattle arena will not sway that opinion.  What about the owners.  Pierre-Karl Peladeau and Quebecor in Quebec.  Christopher Hansen et al. in Seattle.  Who in Kansas City?  Mystery guy?  Has AEG found someone and nobody knows.  Not likely.  But, what strange goings-on, indeed.

The only thing that might have some truth is that the NHL operates like the Knights Templar, guarding secrets and leaking (possibly) faulty information to keep us all guessing.

Playing with the King of Hearts, knowing it ain't really smart.

The Coaching Carousel, Brought to You By Teams that Fire Their Head Coach With Eighteen Games Left

But, really, Brian Burke?  I could give two pucks less if you have one Canadian on your team or three hundred, but damn, by this point in the season you might just want to ride the pony/coach that got you there and hope for the best.  Regardless, it's time once again for everyone's favorite fired/rehired coaches segment, the Coaching Carousel!

Oh, and it's in the air people, the smell of playoff hockey.  Can you smell it?  Don't take one big whiff, you may become lightheaded.  It permeates everything around you.  It's already upon you, there is no sense in hyperventilating yourself into unconsciousness trying to smell it.

But, maybe you can't smell it, or don't want to smell it.  Well, I know one thing that smells.  Some of the teams who have fired coaches this season.  As of now, EIGHT!!! coaches have been fired through three-quarters of the 2011-12 NHL regular season.  Compare that to two through this point last season.  Yep, two.  That is quite a few less than eight if you take time to really think about it.

Again, what follows is superficial data from each team who has fired old coaches and hired new coaches, comparing and contrasting a few stat categories of the teams playing under each coach.  It won't solve anything or help you in the dating world, but it may make you sound smart to people who don't follow hockey.  And really, isn't that all that matters?

The Coaching Carousel Stops at the Break

I'm sure this gag has never been done before...

Ah, the NHL All-Star game.  Is there anything more exciting?

Don't you remember last year when those guys scored and everyone was really excited.  I sure do.  Or how about two years ago, when we were blessed with the Olympics and the NHL took a month hiatus.  That was weird, but damn it was fun and much better than the All-Star game.

Look, the All-Star game is great, really.  Heck, it's the lead in for the Pro Bowl.  That's saying something. But, I'm sure you didn't come here to debate the validity of the ASG.  You came for the hardcore spreadsheet action!

At the break, with approximately thirty games remaining for all teams, seven, count 'em SEVEN, NHL coaches have been fired.  The most recent being the Blue Jackets now former bench boss Scott Arniel.  What follows are the superficial stats of each team, comparisons and contrasts of the hired and fired coaches, and pointless observations that will not help you to understand why sports happen the way that they do. 

What does this have to do with Kansas City hockey?  Nothing.  Continue after the jump.

Introducing the Coaching Carousel

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

The NHL Coaching Carousel, a new feature at Lost City of Bettman where we will take a look at the coaches fired so far this season and how the team's have done with their new coach(es).  Basically, it's a fun chart for you to look at.  Look at the colors.  Who doesn't like charts?!?!

So, on this eve of the Winter Classic, here are the five teams with new coaches and how they have fared since ridding themselves of the stank of an old head coach.

It has to be small to fit, so click to embiggen

Stats are as of 1/1/12 at 10:00pm CDT


The current coach is on the bottom, while the fired coach (or interim coach) is on top.  The Blues and Kings appear to be in the best shape as of now.


Best Available Coaches:
Terry Murray
Randy Carlyle
Jacques Martin
Davis Payne
Paul Maurice
Craig MacTavish (NSFW language in link)
Bob Hartley
Andy Murray (a fave of the blog)
Pierre Maguire
Scott Gordon
Tony Granato

Coaches on the Chopping Block:
Scott Arniel - CBJ
Jack Capuano - NYI (maybe)


References:
Game by game stats
STL * WAS * CAR * ANA * LAK * MTL
NHL Standings
NHL PP Stats
NHL PK Stats
Hockey-Reference
My own math (erg...nerds, feel free to check my work and let me know what I screwed up)

An oversized bear.  It's funny.  It's funny because it's ah, bigger than, ah, you know, a normal bear.

Mid-December Kansas City Hockey Related News Report

There are an awful lot of honkeys in this picture.  (Screen cap via)

Just a reminder that the hockey version of the Border War continues Friday, January 20th, 2012 at the Independence Events Center (home of the Mavs).  I cannot promise the hockey will be top notch Division I caliber stuff, but I can promise a good time will be had by hockey fans, Mizzou fans, Kansas fans, and all sports fans alike.  Go here to get tickets.

Also, there is speculation that Craig MacTavish, the current head coach of the AHL's Chicago Wolves (the Mavs affiliate), is a possible candidate for the recently vacated Los Angeles Kings head coaching position.  His only head coaching gig in the NHL was with the Edmonton Oilers from 2000-09, going 301-252-47-56 and losing to Carolina in the 06-07 Stanley Cup Finals.  He is in his first season with the Wolves, and as of this date he is 11-9-4.  He currently coaches two-way Mavs Charlie Effinger, J.P. Testwuide, and Dustin Friesen.  He is also the last player in the NHL to play without a helmet.  Just thought you should know.

Oh yeah, by the way, Mavs goalie extraordinaire "F-bomb" Effinger was called up to the semi-big leagues the other day.  This means the Mavs will once again use their insurance policy, Gerry Festa, in net for the time being.  Brian Mahoney-Wilson will also see time between the pipes.

Hey, how about some NHL stuff?  Sure, why not.  Continue...

An Unexpected Twist in the Struggle for Leadership of the Kansas City School District

(Kansas City School Board office door bursts open)

Mayor Sly James:  Alright, enough wankin’ off!  I’m in charge here!

KC School Board Members:  Umm... what?

Mayor James:  You ethics hating curmudgeons have brought enough bad press to this district with your negativity and unwillingness to cooperate.  You’re just as bad as a gun-toting urban teenager dropped off at the Cinemark Palace by his absentee parents to see the new Muppet movie on a Friday night.  You people disgust me, so I’m taking over.

KC School Board Members:  Umm... no.

Mayor James:  What, you don’t think I can make better decisions than this MENSA meeting?  I cleared the riff-raff out of the Plaza.  What have you done lately other than drive a superintendent out of town and cause the district to lose accreditation?

KC School Board Members:  None of what you just said is necessarily true...

Mayor James:  Are you calling me a liar?  No one calls the Sly One a liar!

KC School Board Members:  Mayor James, we would be more than happy to work with you if the opportunity presents itself.

Mayor James:  Oh, so you’re going to play that game, eh?  Well, it looks like you have left me no choice.  If you won’t listen to me, then it’s time to bring in the big guns, the folks who really know how to run things.  Boys get in here!

(window on the opposite side of the room slowly opens and two men slunk into the room)

Number Four In Our Five Part Series on Daydreaming

I deeply apologize for the delay in the NHL pick-o-rama.  Other matters have needed tending.  I promise to get the fifth and final option up very soon.  I know we KC hockey fans are all very patient people, so I hope to have your understanding.

Now, onto the fourth franchise Kansas Citians can most identify with, and thus cheer for: the Nash...dahhhhh raspberries!

Wonderful surprises await after the jump.

Time Warner to Kansas City Hockey Fans: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

For lack of another/better choice, many people in the area (including your humble writer) are subject to the random channel switching and rate hikes of Time Warner Cable.  Ugh.  It is still not cool what they did to the Travel Channel.  And how many people had problems with their cable boxes over the summer when TWC did a system "update" that crashed the older hardware?  Anyway, those problems aside, there is an issue that directly addresses sports fans in the city.  Most notably, hockey fans.

Which Team is Your Team? The Second of the Best NHL Team For Kansas Citians

Which team do I play for now?   Do you even know who I am...?

In the second of our series of five NHL teams that Kansas Citians can cheer for, we have a team very similar to the Kings.  But in what way?  Jump to find out.

I Like the NHL, But I Live in Kansas City. Please HELP!

Via

Have you recently come down with hockey fever for some reason, but you are unsure about which NHL team to cheer for during the upcoming season?!?!  Well, your ol’ friend Dr. Flubber is here with the remedy.  Over the next couple of days (or week or two) I will be listing the top 5, count ‘em FIVE, NHL teams for the locals to follow this season.  Maybe you will find a favorite team and start a long-lasting relationship, and get married to this team and live happily ever after.  Or not.  It is what you make of it.

There are no predictions.  No previews.  Just a simple way for Kansas Citians to get acclimated to some NHL teams that either have some connection to KC, have unstable ownership/low fan support, or other qualities area residents are used to in their sports viewing.  Basically, a team or franchise that could fit well in the city’s sports landscape.

Of course, this may be all for not since the entire area is full of Penguins fans, as evidenced the other night.  Hey, how about cheering for someone other than the Penguins.*  It will make you interesting at parties and junk.**  The first possible choice after the jump!

*The Penguins, obviously, are not one of the teams.

**Cheering for one of these teams will not necessarily make you interesting at parties.

NHL Preseason Game This Tuesday

*Card is subject to change

Come one, come all to the annual NHL Preseason game at the Sprint Center!

Who: Los Angeles Kings vs. Pittsburgh Penguins
Where: Sprint Center, Kansas City, MO
When: 7:00pm, Tuesday, September 27th
What:  NHL hockey, of course.
Why: AEG controls the Sprint Center and owns the Kings, and the Penguins used the Sprint Center as leverage to get a new arena in Pittsburgh.
How is it significant: Uh...it's really not.  But, it's hockey, and that's cool, right?

Obviously, as anyone who follows the NHL already knows, exciting young defenseman Drew Doughty will not be at the game due to contract negotiation issues.  Also, exciting (young!) forward Sidney Crosby is just beginning to hit the ice hard in the preseason, so he will not get have a working vacation to the Paris of the Plains.  Jim Fox, Los Angeles's television color commentator, asked after the 2010 Olympics why Crosby doesn't just retire.  At the age of 24, he already claims a gold medal (which he clinched) and a Stanley Cup finals victory, along with various other rewards.  But, you will have to go elsewhere to see him, Kansas Citians.

You can check out the Kings previous exhibition lineups courtesy of Rich Hammond over at LA Kings Insider here and here.  Divine what you will from the information given.  The Kings play the Avalanche in Denver on Wednesday night, so they may bring a semi-legit lineup and play them again the next night, or they may not.  Your guess is as good as mine.

Meanwhile, the Penguins preseason lineups (here, here and here) all seem to have their fair share of NHLers.  Malkin has played, along with Staal and a few other notables.  It's important to note that all of their games have been at home, so they could mix and match how they wanted.  Again, there is nothing saying that the big names won't make the trip, but nothing saying they will either.  The Pens play again on Friday.

I will be attending the game and hopefully will have a write up and some photos for you on Wednesday.

Hopefully the updated rosters come out tomorrow.

Buy tickets here.

2012 Champions: The Mavericks Quest for the Cup Starts With Scoring

The Missouri Mavericks will win the Central Hockey League Championship this year.  No, they will.  Why?  Because they have bought all of the good players.  No, no, it's not what you're thinking.  It's not like the Yankees, Heat, or Eagles.  No, how childish of you.  But, yeah, it's totally kind of like that almost.  That's just what the good teams do.  Have good players that win games.




Jump to see how this will happen.