The End of the 2011-12 Hockey Season

My favorite team just won the Stanley Cup.  I know you don't care, but I do.  There is no way to describe this feeling because I still don't quite understand what happened.  Surreal.  I can't comprehend this.  But I'm happy.  Very happy.  And I will probably break down crying tomorrow at work, then get sent home early.  If so, I'll write something more meaningful.  Until then, it's just whatever, man.  Dude, Kings.

This is What Happens When a Team From Los Angeles Plays in the Stanley Cup Final

This.

Via

And this.

Via

Nothing to see here.  Move along folks.

Why the Stanley Cup Final Is Better Than a Wedding

Via

Ah, weddings.  Who can deny the beauty of two people coming together to share the rest of their lives with one another.  Such a great thing humanity has culturally created.  Plus, they are great social events for the family and friends invited to share in the couple's special day...in theory.  Of course, in theory, communism works.  In theory.  But, look at weddings for what they are on the outside, without all of that lovey crap (all except yours, of course); free food, free booze, free party, single chicks with heightened emotional sensitivity, single (and not-single) dudes wading in a pool of their own testosterone...Look, I don't need to recap an entire movie plot for you.  Is this what we've become as a society?

Stanley Cup Finals: Why Should Kansas Citians Care?

Hey, Kansas Citian!  Yeah, you!  The Stanley Cup Finals between the Los Angeles Kings and the New Jersey Devils start tonight.  Well, it's going on right now, but whatever.  Do you need a reason to watch the series?  Yes?  Okay then, how about a few Kansas City connections to get you warmed to these teams and maybe find a rooting interest.

New Jersey – Formerly the KC Scouts (1974-76), moved to Denver as the Rockies, then moved to their current home in Newark in 1982.  They have three Cup victories in five attempts (95, 00, and 03)

Los Angeles – Played an exhibition game at the Sprint Center the past three years.  The Sprint Center is owned and operated by the ownership group of the Kings, AEG.  They have zero Cup victories in one attempt (with Gretzky!).

Why you should really care: it's hockey, and once this series ends, it's the painful offseason (and the Royals will be hard to watch for the next four months, trust me).

This is as deep as it gets for a KC for primer fans, so.... yeah.

Might I also take this time to remind you of the Puck-O-Rama series that ran early this season where we helped you fine KC hockey fans without a team find the perfect KC-esque team to follow.  What were those choices again?

Florida Panthers – Southeast Division Champs, lost to Devils in first round
St. Louis Blues – Central Division Champs, lost in second round to Kings
Nashville Predators – Second place in Central Division, lost in second round to Coyotes
Phoenix Coyotes – Pacific Division Champs, lost in conference finals to Kings
Los Angeles Kings – it escapes me at the moment...

The 2012-13 Heels of Hockey: The Desert Dawgz

RKO! RKO! RKO!

The Corporation, the nWo, Evolution, the Phoenix Coyotes...all great wrestling heel factions.  What's that, "The Coyotes", you ask?  Oh yes, and let me tell you, they really hate "you people" and flee close matches with their collective tails between their legs (pun intended).


Remember last season when everyone rooted for the Boston Bruins to beat the Vancouver Canucks in the Stanley Cup Finals (we did this, people, and we have to live with our decisions)?  Just to see that "flopper" Ryan Kesler, that "douche" Alex Burrows, those "creepy twins" the Sedins, and "weird gaze dude" Roberto Luongo get their comeuppance.  (Plus, head coach Alain Vingneault speaks something called "French."  That can't be good.)  Then, through this season, the 'Nucks were arguably the heels of hockey...until they lost in the Finals and in the first round this year.  No longer perceived as a threat, we now have a new enemy, someone else to form a feud against the John Cenas and Rey Mysterios of the world.  The Phoenix Coyotes.  Learn why after the jump.

The Distinguished Sports Observer's Guide to Avoiding the Words "Classless" and "Dirty"

Via ESPN

I hate to start anything with a “Webster’s Dictionary states...” style definition, but it has a point, so bear with me:

class*less
adjective
1. (of a society) not divided into social classes.

 Wait a minute, that’s not right.  Okay, maybe this is closer.

2. characterized by the absence of economic and social distinctions

 Not really, but kind of...wait, okay here we go:

class  

adjective 

informal: showing stylish excellence

Classless.  Without class.  Having no class.  Sans class.  The inability to show stylish excellence.  These are all ideas of classlessness.  In the sports world, classless relates to a direct and wiling attack against the rules with the intent of harming another player or the laws of the game.  Playing the game with a reckless disregard for all things good and just in the sport.  Playing outside of the box, in effect, is not allowed in the sports world.  Walter Sobchak would have made a great commissioner with the motto, “Am I the only one around here who gives a sh*t about the rules?”  But, if a player does this enough, or in a gloriously reckless way, they are labeled by the fans of that sports as a “cheat”, “dirty”, or “classless”.  In hockey it can range from anything from playing the puck from the bench, to making direct intentional contact with another player for the sake of injuring that player or to seek retribution, to sucker punching an opponent in the back of the head.  The NHL’s most recent talking point revolves around intent to injure, most notably, headshots and removing dangerous collisions.