Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Frozen Americans: A Tribute

This July 4th, while you are celebrating and eating and shooting sparks in you eye and totally not doing anything illegal, take time to remember those heroes that made a difference.  Those brave persons who fight day in and day out for your love and admiration.  I'm talking, of course, about American hockey players.  Aren't they just so dreamy.  Yes, yes they are.

But, we can't honor all of them on this day.  Oh no.  Only the best.  And, only those that will make this a somewhat quick post.

Soooo, without further bullcrap, and because this is somewhat timely, I present a tribute to the two American-born captains who led their team to a Stanley Cup Finals victory: Derian Hatcher and Dustin Brown.

Derian Hatcher (via) – By the way, this photo had the word "Allsport" in the title.  Remember that drink?  Holy hell that was a long time ago. Apparently it still exists.
Everyone remembers Derian Hatcher for leading the Dallas Stars to their one and only Stanley Cup victory in 1999.  Of course, this was also the series of the infamous "crease rule" violation that clinched the Cup for the Stars.  The goal was scored by another American who I have been told by reliable sources he is/was kind of a dick, so we won't name names to protect the innocent, etc.

Anyway, good job Derian.  This Bud's...uh, oh no no, this Miller's for you!  You keep on looking like Adam Copeland and Wes Scantlin you hero of the hockey-iron.
Via USA Hockey
That leads us to the second, and most recent, American-born captain to lift the Stanley Cup, Dustin Brown of the LA Kings.  He's so fresh in your mind he is like a freshly-baked mind cookie or something.  Brown, like Hatcher, led his respective team to its first and only Cup.  Dustin Brown also did this once.
Thanks to Wheezy McBreathesweird for the video recording of his TV

He also has the mouth of a sailor, like any good American.  So Dustin, today we salute you and your attractive wife and your awkward Team USA photos.
What the hell?
But really, all family portraits should be like this. (via)
Okay, let's not forget the runner-up of this year's Stanley Cup Finals.  Minnesota's own Zach Parise and his New Jersey Devils lost to an American-born captain, so I guess that counts for something.  So, good on you Zach Parise.  Also, you did this once.  That was awesome.
Happy Fourth of July or whatever.  Eat, drink, and get drunk!


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